I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she smelled like a LAN party
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
