Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
40s are totally the cure
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
