did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Your penis caused this!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
