Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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