their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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