apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
