don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Can I color on your dick again?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
