friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
