okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
