just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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