is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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