The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
