I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
