So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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