You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
