How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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