I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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