I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I need help removing her.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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