whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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