Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
