2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize