dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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