So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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