Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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