Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
