Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
