Whatcha textin bout Willis?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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