I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
