I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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