I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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