I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
