Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
