Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
