How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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