He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize