All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
