She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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