next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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