So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
