tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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