Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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