So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
why do cheetos always look like penises
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
