Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
