he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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