I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Boobs speak an international language.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
40s are totally the cure
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
