so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
