the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
