no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
