I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
