i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
