Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
